“There are two mistakes one can make along the journey to truth... not starting, and not going all the way.”


Friday, August 28, 2015

Love and Pain

Pain is love unaccommodated. Love is pain unabated.

"I decided to melt into what I thought was pain, but was actually love. The love that had been trying to burst out of me for my entire life. I finally surrendered and it came pouring out, an eternal flow of infinite embrace."

I wish to offer a perspective on pain that may be different from the meaning that is most commonly attributed to this seemingly universally unpleasant human experience. When you or another is in pain, it is simply a denial of the love that wants to be liberated from every cell of your being. It is the small child that simply wants to be free to express it’s innermost joy, but was shamed for its natural self-expression and consequently denied this aspect of him/herself. To acknowledge and embrace this child unconditionally is to set yourself free.

When the natural flow of life-force energy is blocked or repressed in any being it results in what is commonly referred to as emotional pain. Emotions such as sadness, anger, grief, or despair are not inherently "painful" they are simply another expression of life-force energy. They are completely natural and inherent in the human experience. They are what make the emotional tapestry of life vibrant and colorful. If only the emotions of what we might call the "positive" spectrum existed, life would become tasteless and boring. We wouldn't even have an understanding that these emotions were "positive" because we would have nothing to compare them to. Without contrast there can be no meaning derived from any experience.

So no emotion in and of itself is painful. No emotion in and of itself is even truly negative or bad. It is only when the full expression and release of this emotion is blocked or restricted for some reason that it results in pain, suffering, and often times even disease. What we failed to be taught as children is that ALL emotions deserve to be recognized and fully experienced. We were shamed when we felt these so called "negative" emotions for various reasons. One being that often times we would make a scene in public when expressing these intense emotions and our parents would become upset and punish us because they did not want to look "bad" and draw attention. This is due to a fear of social ostracism. Another reason for this behavior is because our release of these emotions would call our parents' attention to the repressed emotions within themselves and force them to face these unconscious aspects within themselves. They would deny us their unconditional presence because they were terrified to confront these emotions trapped within their own unconscious. They conditioned us in this way simply because it is how their parents treated them, how their grandparents treated their parents, and so on and so forth.

It is now necessary for us to break the cycle if we do not want future generations of human beings to experience such acute and intense emotional pain. We have to confront these blocked and repressed energies within ourselves and provide them with our full awareness and unconditional presence. In doing so we allow them to be released and we liberate ourselves from the emotional torture that many of us endure on a daily basis. So next time these uncomfortable emotions arise, no matter how unpleasant they may seem, provide them with your total and undivided attention. Sink into them completely. Do not give in to the urge to distract yourself. Acknowledge them the way you would acknowledge a hurt child. Give them your love, support, and recognition. In doing so, you will give these repressed energies permission to fully express themselves and to leave your field. These "negative" emotions will be alchemically transmuted into their highest aspect and you will naturally become a more healthy, integrated, and vibrant expression of your true self.

Deep sadness that is fully integrated becomes deep compassion. Sadness that is rejected or denied becomes hatred and resentment.

Intense anger that is fully integrated becomes intense passion for life. Anger that is rejected or denied becomes overt abuse or passive aggressiveness.

Feelings of depression that are fully integrated become authentic creativity and self-expression. Depression that is rejected or denied becomes hopelessness and apathy.

Sensations of fear that are fully integrated become an all encompassing embrace of all that arises. Fear that is rejected or denied becomes chronic anxiety and paranoia.

Strong guilt that is fully integrated becomes loving forgiveness. Guilt that is rejected or denied becomes gnawing regret and self-contempt.

So next time these so called "negative" emotions arise, recognize them for what they are. Expressions of love that wish to be liberated from your being. Don't hold them captive any longer. Treat them with your divine presence, experience them fully, and relinquish them into the stillness of your eternal self. Then watch the transformation take place. Much love : )