Love and Pain

Pain is love unaccommodated. Love is pain unabated.

"I decided to melt into what I thought was pain, but was actually love. The love that had been trying to burst out of me for my entire life. I finally surrendered and it came pouring out, an eternal flow of infinite embrace."

I wish to offer a perspective on pain that may be different from the meaning that is most commonly attributed to this seemingly universally unpleasant human experience. When you or another is in pain, it is simply a denial of the love that wants to be liberated from every cell of your being. It is the small child that simply wants to be free to express it’s innermost joy, but was shamed for its natural self-expression and consequently denied this aspect of him/herself. To acknowledge and embrace this child unconditionally is to set yourself free.

When the natural flow of life-force energy is blocked or repressed in any being it results in what is commonly referred to as emotional pain. Emotions such as sadness, anger, grief, or despair are not inherently "painful" they are simply another expression of life-force energy. They are completely natural and inherent in the human experience. They are what make the emotional tapestry of life vibrant and colorful. If only the emotions of what we might call the "positive" spectrum existed, life would become tasteless and boring. We wouldn't even have an understanding that these emotions were "positive" because we would have nothing to compare them to. Without contrast there can be no meaning derived from any experience.

So no emotion in and of itself is painful. No emotion in and of itself is even truly negative or bad. It is only when the full expression and release of this emotion is blocked or restricted for some reason that it results in pain, suffering, and often times even disease. What we failed to be taught as children is that ALL emotions deserve to be recognized and fully experienced. We were shamed when we felt these so called "negative" emotions for various reasons. One being that often times we would make a scene in public when expressing these intense emotions and our parents would become upset and punish us because they did not want to look "bad" and draw attention. This is due to a fear of social ostracism. Another reason for this behavior is because our release of these emotions would call our parents' attention to the repressed emotions within themselves and force them to face these unconscious aspects within themselves. They would deny us their unconditional presence because they were terrified to confront these emotions trapped within their own unconscious. They conditioned us in this way simply because it is how their parents treated them, how their grandparents treated their parents, and so on and so forth.

It is now necessary for us to break the cycle if we do not want future generations of human beings to experience such acute and intense emotional pain. We have to confront these blocked and repressed energies within ourselves and provide them with our full awareness and unconditional presence. In doing so we allow them to be released and we liberate ourselves from the emotional torture that many of us endure on a daily basis. So next time these uncomfortable emotions arise, no matter how unpleasant they may seem, provide them with your total and undivided attention. Sink into them completely. Do not give in to the urge to distract yourself. Acknowledge them the way you would acknowledge a hurt child. Give them your love, support, and recognition. In doing so, you will give these repressed energies permission to fully express themselves and to leave your field. These "negative" emotions will be alchemically transmuted into their highest aspect and you will naturally become a more healthy, integrated, and vibrant expression of your true self.

Deep sadness that is fully integrated becomes deep compassion. Sadness that is rejected or denied becomes hatred and resentment.

Intense anger that is fully integrated becomes intense passion for life. Anger that is rejected or denied becomes overt abuse or passive aggressiveness.

Feelings of depression that are fully integrated become authentic creativity and self-expression. Depression that is rejected or denied becomes hopelessness and apathy.

Sensations of fear that are fully integrated become an all encompassing embrace of all that arises. Fear that is rejected or denied becomes chronic anxiety and paranoia.

Strong guilt that is fully integrated becomes loving forgiveness. Guilt that is rejected or denied becomes gnawing regret and self-contempt.

So next time these so called "negative" emotions arise, recognize them for what they are. Expressions of love that wish to be liberated from your being. Don't hold them captive any longer. Treat them with your divine presence, experience them fully, and relinquish them into the stillness of your eternal self. Then watch the transformation take place. Much love : )

The Warrior and the Waterfall

Part 1

What if you lived in a small village, and in this village there was a beautiful stream. This stream flowed effortlessly through a majestic forest and the air was fresh with the crispness of mid-spring. Everyone loved to walk along the stream and observe its natural and wondrous beauty. 

At the edge of the spring, it was said, was a magnificent waterfall. Some had journeyed there and seen it first hand, but no one had ever jumped....no one had taken the leap of faith...except for one man.

The enchantment of the spring is like a spell cast upon the villagers. The spring sustains them, brings them new life. Feeds their bodies, their minds, and their spirits. They use it to nourish themselves, refresh themselves, and give life to the seeds that they cultivate. So it is no wonder why the children and even adults are so fascinated by the story of the Great Fall.

It is said that a long time ago a young boy was born into the village at a time when men were of the warrior clan. The warrior clan was the first group of people to drive out the primitive natives and settle a colony in the village. 

The land had not yet been entirely explored, and it was prophesied that a young boy would be born amongst the people who would be a pioneer of men. He would fearlessly explore all the unknown territory and be triumphant in his battles with the remaining natives. The boy’s name was Gabriel.

Gabriel grew up rather quickly, learning all the essential skills of a warrior as swiftly and precisely as any boy that had come before. Gabriel was raised by his mother and the elders, as his father had died in battle before he was born.  He was graceful, dignified, intelligent, and rambunctious. His energy was free and unstifled. He was totally fearless. 

That is, until the day of the Jaguar attack.

Gabriel and his mother sat watching the mountain goats grazing in a field near their home on a warm and sunny day in early spring. The goats bobbed their heads up and down as they slowly and methodically grinded the tough grass with their mouths. 

Every now and then one goat would bump heads with the other and a fight would ensue. They would clash their horns together in a powerful collision until one had enough and backed off. Then the winning goat would pleasantly go on eating his grass while the other one walked off with its head down in shame. It was a comical yet profoundly interesting sight to behold.

As Gabriel wandered by the goats, some would watch him glaringly, some would rear their heads as if ready to attack, and others would simply walk on by. Gabriel had grown into a strong young man by this time, and was not afraid of a silly mountain goat. There were far greater and far more terrifying beasts to look out for, like the infamous Jaguar. The Jaguars were known in the village for not only killing many a mountain goat, but also attacking and even killing the villagers themselves.

Gabriel’s mother had warned him not to stray too far away and he had promised her that he would not, but the sight of something in the woods caught his attention and attraction. It was a beautiful girl, wearing almost nothing. Gabriel remembered the stories of the forest nymphs and the magic they could perform. He had always fantasized of being with the nymphs and having anything that he could desire. He saw this as an incredible opportunity and ran off into the woods to find the girl.

As he wandered through the thick brush, he could smell a scent of fresh flowers and sweet vanilla. He knew this wonderful smell was indicative of the nymphs, and his heart began to pound with excitement. Gabriel knew he was getting close. 

He came to a clearing in the path and could make out the faint noise of a nymph giggling impishly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a breathtakingly beautiful girl step out from behind a large oak tree. She had only small leaves covering her and had skin and hair that shown with a golden light.

The nymph smiled coyly at Gabriel, making him blush with a combination of shyness and nervous excitement. He had never seen a sight of such profound beauty in all his life. He wanted her. No. He needed her. 

The nymph stared into Gabriel’s eyes for what felt to him like an eternity and then quicker than the blink of an eye spun around and began to run off into the distance. Gabriel hastily ran after her with all the speed he could possibly muster.

He saw flashes of her golden skin echoing through the maze of thick trees and brush and hunted them down like the x on his treasure map. Eventually he grew tired and bent over to catch his breath. Just then the nymph reemerged.

“Gabriel...” She said softly, in a voice so gentle it could have just as easily been the wind. She smiled once more, a seductive grin, and slipped into a shroud of darkness. As Gabriel walked closer, he saw that this shroud of darkness was, actually, a cave.

The first tinges of fear set in. 

"Should I go in after her?" He thought. 

"Mother said to not wander too far, and the sun will be setting soon." 

His mind began to shout reasons for him NOT to go in. But the fire in his heart could not be dampened, and no excuse could make him go back. He was going in.

As Gabriel walked into the cave, he saw that the blackness within was pure. There was NO light. Not even the faintest hint of a spark. Nothing. He began to second guess his decision, but his legs carried him onward despite his mental hesitation. There was no turning back.

He continued to feel his way through the cave and suddenly JUMPED when he felt a cobweb brush past his finger tips! Only a cobweb, he thought, as his mind spindled and spun up images of massive man-eating spiders big enough to consume him in a few painful, flesh-ripping bites. A chill ran down his spine. 

Just then, he heard the nymph’s precious giggle once, and a tiny shimmering sparkle of light. His hope returned and he followed the light, mesmerized by its other-worldly beauty and charm. 

As he approached the light, he could feel the room begin to get hotter. He could sense a presence, but it was not the presence of the nymph. No, this was not a benevolent presence. It was much darker, much more sinister than that. 

He continued to walk in a half-frozen, dreamlike motion, hoping to hear the soft laughter and smell the sweet perfume of the comforting nymph. But the nymph was no more. Instead, there was darkness, and a deep growl. Gabriel jumped in a startled haze and brushed against something furry only to feel the sharp sting of claws digging into his chest... Jaguar!!! He turned and began to run like he had never run before.

As his feet pounded the cave floor he heard the paws of the Jaguar close behind. He could hear the claws as they scraped the hard rock, a sound he likened to nails on a chalkboard. Sweat poured down his face and dripped down his chest into his fresh-opened wound. The pain stung like a thousand bee stings. It was like the pain caused by the horse’s whip and forced him to run even faster as he narrowly escaped the swinging claws of the cat on his heels.

Finally, he emerged from the cave shrieking in both terror and delight. He tore through the brush in a frenzied, mindless craze, too scared to think and definitely too scared to look back.

He kept going as the brush tore at his chest wounds, causing even greater damage and pain. He cried in agony and rage as he somehow swept through the forest more swiftly than even a hungry cat. 

As he reached the end of the tree line and was about to reach the field where his mother was, he heard her voice calling his name from the forest. He stopped to listen and hear it more clearly and then suddenly thought of the Jaguar. He spun around to see if it was behind him, but it was nowhere in sight. Then panic struck. 

What if the Jaguar found his mother!

He began to run after the voice, hearing his name echoed through the forest. His heart pounded fiercely in his chest like a deafening drum as adrenaline surged ferociously through his veins. Quiet down mom! He pleaded in his mind, hoping she would stop yelling and attracting attention. As he continued to run with seemingly no energy left, a feeling of dread began to overcome him. 

Then he heard the screams. 

He ran faster and faster as though floating on air, and the screams grew louder and louder. By the time he came to the place where his mother was, there was only a long stain of blood leading away into oblivion. Gabriel fell down and sobbed harder than he had ever cried in his life. He wanted to die.

Gabriel was found the next day in the forest by a group of friendly tribesmen from a neighboring clan. He was unconscious, dehydrated, and in poor health. 

Strangely enough, there was a young mountain goat laying beside him, keeping him warm. 

The tribesmen carried him back to the village where he was seen by the medicine man. The medicine man did all he could to bring Gabriel back to good health, but he was showing no signs of recovery. As the medicine man continued to work through the night, the mountain goat came back to Gabriel’s side and laid with him as he slept.

The next morning, Gabriel awoke. 

When he opened his eyes, he saw the mountain goat staring down at him, a soft look of care and compassion in it's eyes. This was a bit of a shock and scared Gabriel, but the medicine man explained to him that the goat was his friend, a Guardian Spirit. Gabriel wasn't so sure about the goat being his friend, but decided that he would put up with it for now since it had shown him so much warmth and friendliness.

“What shall you name your goat Gabriel?” Asked the medicine man.

“Well, I don’t know. I haven’t given it any thought really.” Gabriel said halfheartedly.

“Well give it some thought. Get your mind off your troubles my boy. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, and I know your mother only wants you to be happy. The essence of her spirit is still strong with you, but you can only feel it when you let go of the pain.”

Gabriel pondered this and realized deep down that the medicine man was right. He had to change his focus and pull himself out of his pain and misery. He had to do it for his mother, but more importantly, for himself.

“.......Abraham.”

“What’s that, my son?” asked the medicine man.

“I’ll call the goat Abraham,” said Gabriel proudly.

“Very well,” smiled the medicine man.

Soon Gabriel’s health began to return and, slowly but surely, his strength and vigor for life returned as well. He grew quite close with the mountain goat and with the medicine man. This was his new family, and although he missed his mother dearly, he loved his new family very much. As for the forest nymphs, he knew to never trust them again, and to never give into his lust and temptation. 

Never.

The Great Debauchery

You trick yourself into thinking that you are trapped, and you convince yourself that salvation lies in the form.

Whenever you seek an answer to any question you will find it. But unless you transfer your state of consciousness into a state of alignment with the answer, you will NEVER achieve success.

You seek validation from other egos, a temporary change in your state of consciousness.

The experience will never give you what you seek, because what you seek is beyond the experience.

The chief flaw: You are seeking yourself in something else.

Never become overly invested in the fruits of your action. They will take care of themselves easily, as long as you perceive from a pure state of consciousness. But they will no longer be your imaginary source of salvation.

You think that things outside of you are holding you back and you forget that it’s only a reflection of your state of consciousness.

The Illusion of Self

When a man realizes his true nature, he understands that his ego has absolutely nothing to do with it. The self is nothing more than a persistent illusion. There is no separateness, no individual self, for all is One and One is all. Upon realization of the inter-connectedness of all things, all fear and all hatred disperses, and only love and compassion remains.

Now, this may sound ludicrous to you, as objective reality has the appearance of being separate. In order to understand the connected nature of the universe, you must first understand consciousness itself. So, what is consciousness? It is nothing more than an awareness, an ability to perceive, interpret, and react. There is no need to over-complicate it. Nothing can exist outside of consciousness, for in order for something to exist, we must consciously be aware of it's existence. It must be observed and then interpreted. Then we make up a definition and objectify it through this interpretation. Therefore, absolutely nothing can exist outside of the boundaries of your mind. 

There is but one true consciousness. I will call this God for lack of a better term, and because I don't feel like writing consciousness a million times. God is completely independent of the self or the "ego". God is independent of genes, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and social conditioning; the things that define us as human beings. God is that subtle awareness in the back of your mind, the observer that experiences all these things. You are not your body, rather, you are the one experiencing your body. You are also not your thoughts. You are the one witnessing and listening to your thoughts. You are simply awareness, that pure, divine consciousness that we all struggle to comprehend. And this awareness is the same for everyone.

Now, this may be tough to swallow for those of you who have become too attached to the ego. Those of you who think you are independent and separate from everyone else. You may have become too preoccupied with material things, thinking that they define you, and that the attainment of these possessions is your sole purpose in life. It is not. Like all physical objects, these things are fleeting and will not last. Even the body will perish someday, and this idea strikes fear into the hearts of many, because they think that the body is who they truly are, and without it they will cease to exist. But your consciousness will remain, for it is infinite and everlasting. It is unaffected by space and time, and it's very source is God. 

I'm sure many of you are wondering "What the f**k is this dude talking about!?!? If there is only one consciousness, then how are there so many people in the world? Not only the people living on Earth today, but those who lived in the past and those who will live in the future. Surely they are separate, individual beings." Let me attempt to explain this with something I like to call the mirror metaphor.

 Imagine a single mirror. This mirror is the source of all things, the original consciousness, or God. The reflection in the mirror is consciousness itself, and the frame and the glass is the place in which this consciousness resides. God has a desire; to understand thyself. In order to do so, God must multiply, for nothing can be observed, interpreted, and understood from the standpoint of absolute Oneness.

Now, this mirror represents a God who is complete, utter, indescribable perfection. Pure love, peace, bliss, etc... but in order for this consciousness to multiply, it has to divide itself, and create its opposite. This opposite is the "negative" aspect of the universe. i.e. hate, evil, fear, etc... This is not really a force in and of itself but rather a lack or absence of the one true force, which is light or God, the same way your shadow isn't some dark force that is separate from you but merely a projection created by you. So now imagine that this negativity is represented by another mirror, which is directly opposite to the original. What do you see when you look into either mirror. It looks like infinite reflections stretching into oblivion, right? Well, those reflections are us! And one of those reflections is you!

So we are not separate from God, but rather we are reflections of God.The frame and the glass represent the reality in which we exist and the universe that we perceive and interpret, which is where our consciousness currently resides. Just like a mirror, we will reflect what is around us and exists in our environment, and this will affect our beliefs and the way in which we interpret and react to our reality. This process is known as social conditioning. Pretty mind-boggling, eh? So if you ever wondered why there is negativity in this world and why everything isn't "perfect", it's because this negative aspect of the universe is the very thing that permits you to exist and allows you to have free will. It is the very thing that allows you to truly know thyself.

So in conclusion, you can see from this metaphor that all of us are really just reflections of the source consciousness, or God. Each and every one of us are essential pieces to an infinite puzzle. Thus, we are immortal beings experiencing a dichotomy, a universe of contrast or opposing objective realities. We are all truly spiritual beings having a human experience, for the physical body is the opposite of the soul. This can be traumatizing for some until you truly understand it and appreciate it for what it is. I hope I helped you to do just that. 

Peace and Love.