The Nature of Existence

Why does the Universe even go through the bother of existing at all? And where does it all come from? This is the fundamental problem of existence. The fundamental ambiguity of being human, a being with the capacity to contemplate such philosophical enigmas. Why does it seem like no matter what you get you are never really satisfied, never fulfilled? The very thing you thought would fulfill you often times ends up turning into your biggest problem. Why is this? Why does it seem so difficult to escape this fundamental anguish? Is entropy the order of the day, the only thing you can truly be certain of? That everything will fall apart, will decay, will disappear in time?

Yet this is only one aspect of the truth. There is also the essential fact that new things and new life forms are perpetually coming into existence. The old is giving birth to the new. Out of apparent chaos emerges organized forms of energy in-formation. So there must be some force that holds it all together. Something that keeps the Universe from falling into complete and total entropy and disorder. There must be a force that gave birth to existence in the first place. So what is this force? What is this essence? That which cannot be named.

So to prevent oneself from falling into entropy and disorder, you must tap into this essential life force, this innate intelligence. You must align with the greater order that wants to be born into this world. And to do so you must find yourself, your own essence and inherent nature. You must stop seeking without and instead turn completely around and go within. Go deep into your own inner world. Into your own darkness and shadows and into your own love and light. Surrender into it all totally. Find yourself.

Then when you have discovered this essence, this life force within, go back into the world with your greatest power in hand. Express this infinite power in every step of your journey. Move into order, into love, into the greater perfection that underlies the apparent flaws of this surface level of reality. Tap into your infinite reserves, your storehouse of pure potential and possibility. Tap into the truth of yourself.

No matter how much you scramble to make everything perfect, it all falls apart in the end. Just let it be.

Awareness- The Foundation of Life

Take a close look at your present experience in this very moment. Observe what is happening around you in your environment as well as what is happening within. Notice the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures around you and the thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations occurring within.

Now I want to perhaps give you a new and expanded perspective on the nature of your experience. Most people think that what they observe happening is somehow external or independent in relationship to them. We observe phenomena that occurs within our awareness and think that it is happening somewhere “out there”. Even our thoughts, feelings and emotions are seen as somewhat external to us and are usually at the mercy of what is happening in our environment.

But consider this. Everything that you experience, everything that occurs within your environment, is really just an interpretation of your nervous system. You brain must translate all stimulus into a picture that you can interpret and understand. So it would be more accurate to say that what you are actually observing and experiencing is not something happening “out there” but rather what you are experiencing and observing is the state of your nervous system.

With this in mind, you realize that you can never truly touch reality. There is always a filter. The same way two objects can never really touch in the truest sense because their electrons repel each other, you can never truly touch the external world with your awareness. Your subjective filter coats everything with it’s own paint, it taints the truth of reality through its own self-deception. Cultivating awareness is the art of removing the filter to the best of your ability and thus seeing reality for the truth of what it really is.

If you want to take this concept even deeper, the truth is that you are always observing your own subjective state of consciousness. All that is happening around you is simply a reflection of this state of consciousness. The environment certainly affects you and imparts itself onto your own subjective state, but this doesn’t occur until it goes through your filter. This is why two people can experience the exact same event, such as a sporting event, and have a completely different emotional response to the experience. So in actuality, all of reality is more of a subjective experience than an objective truth. Can you now understand why there is so much conflict in the world, both within and without?

So how do we get to the Truth. Simple, remove the filter. And how do we remove the filter? Through the cultivation of awareness. The only way that this can occur is through acute self-observation. Practices such as meditation work to improve your capacity for self-observation and thus enable you to cultivate greater awareness. Through cultivating awareness you develop greater responsibility, that is, the ability to respond to your experiences in whatever way you choose, as opposed to going into unconscious auto-pilot like most people. So this is truly the foundation of all of life, of all human experience. It is the catalyst for all true growth, improvement, and success. The cultivation of self-awareness.

Life Purpose

Your life purpose is to live on purpose. Most people live by accident, by default. If you are asking “What is the purpose of my life?” then this is you. So become the purpose of your own life and in every moment live according to your own highest good. Choose that which serves you and lose that which doesn’t. Live life on purpose.

We often go after the things that we want in a backwards and preposterous way. We never get the full experience of that which we desire but only an unfulfilling shadow. It’s the equivalent of trying to eat your favorite sandwich with the plastic wrapper still on. Why do so many of us do the things that we do? We work jobs that we hate to make money so that later we can do the things we want. We watch sports so we can get a sense of thrill and excitement by living vicariously through our favorite athletes. We watch films in awe of the adventures and experiences of the characters while wishing we could do the same. We use social media to connect with others in a shallow and superficial way while we long for real intimacy and human connection. We eat foods that artificially taste good but are lacking in the substance and nutrition we truly crave.

None of these things are necessarily wrong or even bad, but when they become a replacement for the full realization of your true desires, you are always left feeling unsatisfied and wanting more. We become attached and addicted to these things because you can never get enough of what you do not want. We go after that which we desire and our method of doing so actually becomes the obstacle to experiencing what we desire. It is insanity. Why not just go straight for what we desire? Because we are afraid. We are afraid that we might get hurt. We are afraid that it might not work out. We are afraid that we may lose ourselves in the process.

So we continue to live a half-life using the protection of our ineffective modes to getting our needs met. It is like if we never fully experience that which we want, then we can never be fully disappointed either. We can not get the object of our deepest love and affection and then have it taken away from us. If you want a diamond but instead you just get a replica, it may not be as satisfying but at least when you lose it you won’t care as much. But what is the point of this if in the end you lose everything anyway? None of us make it out of here alive so you may as well take every chance on your dreams. Because in the end, there is nothing to lose. Nothing at all.

Let's Be REAL

What do you want man?

I just wanna be real.

Let’s face it. Most people are not real. At least not 100%. Most of us are trying to maintain a facade. We are trying desperately to uphold an image of ourselves that in reality is not an accurate reflection of our true nature, of our true feelings, and of what it is really like to be us. We live with a filter. We constantly scrutinize and criticize ourselves, we feel that who we really are is inadequate or unworthy, and we ultimately feel like there is something wrong with us. Like we are not enough. So we strive to express this contrived version of ourselves in an effort to be liked, to be accepted by the group. But at what cost? 

We pay with our freedom, with our divine authenticity, which is our absolute birthright. We pay the greatest cost that there is to pay. And what do we get in return? A soft congratulations? A measly pat on the back? Well done my friend, you have hidden your pain from the world, you have hidden your vulnerability, that which makes you authentically human, that which makes you real. And you have lived to see another day. But are you really living? Are you really expressing yourself at your utmost capacity? Are you tasting the fullness of what life has to offer, or are you imbibing in the mere shadow of your fullest self? So I say to you, let go. Be free. For what do you really have to lose? Absolutely nothing. And what do you have to gain? Well that, my friend, you will have to see for yourself.

I want something REAL. Something that I can taste. Something I can hold in my hands and never let go of. Something that keeps me alive. Something to indulge in, to breathe in, to love. Something that renders me powerless to the absolute vulnerability of the moment. Something that returns me to the essence of who I really am. I can’t taste that through a filter. I can’t achieve that through a fucking screen. It’s not REAL! It’s a contrived and fictitious version of reality. What happened to real human interaction? What happened to looking into another’s eyes and truly witnessing the reflection of their soul? Since when is second hand cyber communication good enough? 

In reality, it is not. Not even close. It is a continuous deluge of thought streams, of mental phenomena with no real humanity. It is nothing compared to the reality of human connection. It is a bland and empty shell of the truth of who we really are and what we are actually capable of. So dump the screen and become SEEN. Let yourself really connect with another BEING. Go out and explore the truth of this Universe, touch the unfiltered rawness of this absolutely wondrous and majestic world. Taste reality for its fullness of astounding flavors and textures, for its miracles and tragedies, for it’s hope and it’s devastation. See it for what it REALLY is. Then, and only then, will you come to know the Truth of who you REALLY are.

The Magic of Movies

Examine the plot line of most films. The character, at the beginning of the film, exists in a certain state. The character is faced with a problem or a challenge, and is therefore forced to find a solution. The character finds a solution and consequently exists in a new and improved state. The reason why these films are so widely and thoroughly enjoyed is because they are universally relatable. They may be projected on a seemingly grandiose scale, however this is merely a magnification of the dilemmas that we are faced with in our everyday lives. The magic of movies, therefore, does not come from their superhuman or larger than life nature, but rather from their all too real portrayal of the common challenges in the life of your average joe.

A good movie, I believe, presents you with a relatable character. With an authentically human character, with realistic flaws and vulnerabilities. With natural imperfections and idiosyncrasies. This character is always faced with a challenge and is often forced to either transcend or transmute their character flaws in an attempt to rise to the occasion and solve the problem at hand. Because what magic would there be in a film where everything was perfect, where there were no flaws or challenges, and the main character or characters lived in a verifiable utopia where nothing could go wrong? What enjoyment could one receive from a film like that? Probably none. It is the inherently dystopian and troublesome aspects of a movie that make it captivating and worth watching. The angst and suspense derived from watching a character struggle within its imaginary circumstances ignites a delicious interest and curiosity in the viewer. A desire to observe the character’s ability to effectively deal with these difficult circumstances and find a practical and successful solution.

This is precisely what makes the human experience itself so interesting. And although it may often seem like a curse of magnanimous proportions, like a stain on the fundamental beauty of life, these challenges are actually what make life worthwhile. And the more difficult, the more taxing and seemingly insurmountable, the more inspiring and captivating it becomes. I think this is why people often become addicted to their problems, to the drama of their lives. And this is also why people become so infatuated by the magic of modern cinema. Because this is precisely what makes life, and movies, so fascinating. This is what makes you feel alive.  

Yet, in the end, this transfixion on problems is not the true magic of movies and is not the true beauty of life. It is really the remarkable quality of being able to transcend and overcome these challenges that creates the inherent magnificence in the human experience, and in its microcosm of film. The capacity to fully face these difficulties, the trials and tribulations woven into existence, and instead of giving up, instead of turning away in fear, you do anything and everything in your power to find the answer. And if you do this with an open mind and an open heart, if you do this with a sincere devotion to life and its constant wonder, then you will always find the answer, the solution, the way. Always.

Love and Pain

Pain is love unaccommodated. Love is pain unabated.

"I decided to melt into what I thought was pain, but was actually love. The love that had been trying to burst out of me for my entire life. I finally surrendered and it came pouring out, an eternal flow of infinite embrace."

I wish to offer a perspective on pain that may be different from the meaning that is most commonly attributed to this seemingly universally unpleasant human experience. When you or another is in pain, it is simply a denial of the love that wants to be liberated from every cell of your being. It is the small child that simply wants to be free to express it’s innermost joy, but was shamed for its natural self-expression and consequently denied this aspect of him/herself. To acknowledge and embrace this child unconditionally is to set yourself free.

When the natural flow of life-force energy is blocked or repressed in any being it results in what is commonly referred to as emotional pain. Emotions such as sadness, anger, grief, or despair are not inherently "painful" they are simply another expression of life-force energy. They are completely natural and inherent in the human experience. They are what make the emotional tapestry of life vibrant and colorful. If only the emotions of what we might call the "positive" spectrum existed, life would become tasteless and boring. We wouldn't even have an understanding that these emotions were "positive" because we would have nothing to compare them to. Without contrast there can be no meaning derived from any experience.

So no emotion in and of itself is painful. No emotion in and of itself is even truly negative or bad. It is only when the full expression and release of this emotion is blocked or restricted for some reason that it results in pain, suffering, and often times even disease. What we failed to be taught as children is that ALL emotions deserve to be recognized and fully experienced. We were shamed when we felt these so called "negative" emotions for various reasons. One being that often times we would make a scene in public when expressing these intense emotions and our parents would become upset and punish us because they did not want to look "bad" and draw attention. This is due to a fear of social ostracism. Another reason for this behavior is because our release of these emotions would call our parents' attention to the repressed emotions within themselves and force them to face these unconscious aspects within themselves. They would deny us their unconditional presence because they were terrified to confront these emotions trapped within their own unconscious. They conditioned us in this way simply because it is how their parents treated them, how their grandparents treated their parents, and so on and so forth.

It is now necessary for us to break the cycle if we do not want future generations of human beings to experience such acute and intense emotional pain. We have to confront these blocked and repressed energies within ourselves and provide them with our full awareness and unconditional presence. In doing so we allow them to be released and we liberate ourselves from the emotional torture that many of us endure on a daily basis. So next time these uncomfortable emotions arise, no matter how unpleasant they may seem, provide them with your total and undivided attention. Sink into them completely. Do not give in to the urge to distract yourself. Acknowledge them the way you would acknowledge a hurt child. Give them your love, support, and recognition. In doing so, you will give these repressed energies permission to fully express themselves and to leave your field. These "negative" emotions will be alchemically transmuted into their highest aspect and you will naturally become a more healthy, integrated, and vibrant expression of your true self.

Deep sadness that is fully integrated becomes deep compassion. Sadness that is rejected or denied becomes hatred and resentment.

Intense anger that is fully integrated becomes intense passion for life. Anger that is rejected or denied becomes overt abuse or passive aggressiveness.

Feelings of depression that are fully integrated become authentic creativity and self-expression. Depression that is rejected or denied becomes hopelessness and apathy.

Sensations of fear that are fully integrated become an all encompassing embrace of all that arises. Fear that is rejected or denied becomes chronic anxiety and paranoia.

Strong guilt that is fully integrated becomes loving forgiveness. Guilt that is rejected or denied becomes gnawing regret and self-contempt.

So next time these so called "negative" emotions arise, recognize them for what they are. Expressions of love that wish to be liberated from your being. Don't hold them captive any longer. Treat them with your divine presence, experience them fully, and relinquish them into the stillness of your eternal self. Then watch the transformation take place. Much love : )

Love

Why do we love love?

Everyone loves a great love story. When two people, despite some sort of adversity, come together amidst love's embrace. We love a sense of deep connection, of belonging, of feeling at one with another being. But why? What is it about this sensation that we love so much? And why is it so agonizingly painful when it’s ripped away from us? Is it that it reflects back to us the essence of who we really are? Is it that in this world of apparent separation and independence this taste of unity and togetherness give us a glimpse of a bigger picture that is often hard to grasp from our individual perspective? Or is it simply our biology urging us to unite sexually with another for the purpose of procreation? Perhaps it is all the above? I really can’t say. I just know that for whatever reason, we love love.

What is love? Some may say it’s a sense of pure appreciation, of pure positive focus toward someone or something. But I say it’s deeper than that. It’s an intangible essence that, once grasped at, moves quickly out of reach. It defies definition and abhors captivity. It slips through one’s fingers like water in a stream. Yet it’s still there. It is simply undeniable. So what is it? I’m not so sure that there is an answer to that question that cannot be questioned itself. For love, like life, is a paradox. It is the most profound pleasure as well as the deepest pain. It is being so close yet simultaneously so far away. It is unity in the midst of total separation. It is the most beautiful curse that one could ever know. It pours through you like raindrops on a glass windowpane. It waxes and wanes like the crescent moon. It fills you up to the brim and empties you out until there is nothing left. It consumes you completely and then in an instant spits you back out again. It’s like air, all around you but impossible to see, taste, touch, or smell. It will caress you with it’s breeze at times, even annoy you with it’s power, yet it will never cater to your whims or selfish demands. It is indifferent. It cares not what you think of it, but it flows in ceaseless motion, to the beat of a divine drum. It is it’s own ally and never seeks anyone’s approval. It gives itself freely and effortlessly, asking for nothing in return. It is life itself. It is....love.